


The Choices We Make

by firefly124



Series: 2019 Advent Drabbles [19]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AdventDrabbles, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22056217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firefly124/pseuds/firefly124
Summary: Castiel takes a moment to reflect on the choices he has made as well as those others have made, and is presented with a new one to consider.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: 2019 Advent Drabbles [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1560085
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	The Choices We Make

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [AdventDrabbles](https://adventdrabbles.dreamwidth.org/) community on Dreamwidth to the prompt [white cat in the snow](https://imgur.com/ZgQULPl).

Castiel was happy for Sam and Eileen. With everything they had going on, if the two of them managed to find some space for happiness, then he was glad of it. Even if the only reason they had the space for it was that Chuck thought it made for a better story, he’d take it. He staunchly refused to examine the reasons that happiness held a bittersweet tinge.

However, absenting himself from the library left him somewhat at loose ends. He had already wrapped the gifts he’d obtained for everyone. He’d been truthful when he’d told Eileen they were all, or mostly all, the same. That had made the wrapping process simpler, for certain. Like fishing, the activity did have something of a meditative quality to it.

Exiting through the garage, Castiel decided that a walk would be one way to spend the time. Snow was fresh on the ground, creating a particularly beautiful setting. Like Eileen, he was somewhat nervous about the arrival of Jody and the others, but for entirely different reasons. He was not particularly concerned with how those he had not met would react to him. On the contrary, he was concerned about the one he knew all too well.

Claire.

From what he’d been able to gather from Dean, Sam, and Claire’s incredibly vague texts, she had met someone, fallen in love, and lost that person, all in the span of a few days. He should have been there for her. Hell, he should have been part of that rescue mission, but no one, not even Claire, had thought to contact him. He tamped down the series of “what ifs” that followed that thought. If he ever suggested such a thing to Claire, she would take it as one more reason she was to blame. She was much like Dean in that way, though neither of them would likely appreciate the comparison.

As he took a corner around a stand of trees, a nearly pure-white housecat startled and stared up at him, its green eyes wide. To a human’s eye, Castiel was almost certain the eyes would be all that was clearly visible against the snowy backdrop. He squatted down and stretched a hand out to it.

“It’s all right,” he said softly. “I won’t hurt you.”

Animals rarely feared him, but with his grace fading, he wondered if that effect would similarly dissipate. The cat certainly seemed dubious about him, though eventually it edged closer. That’s when Castiel noticed its limp.

“What happened to your paw?” he asked. He kept his hand outstretched.

Slowly, the cat continued to approach, then lifted up its paw, which left a bloody tinge in the snow below it. It wasn’t a serious wound. Likely the cat had caught one of its pads on something sharp. He sensed no infection. It would take only the smallest scrap of grace to heal it. 

He hesitated, though. What if Dean or Sam was injured on a hunt, and Cas had not quite enough grace to heal them? Could he look Dean in the eye and say the reason he couldn’t save his brother was that he’d healed an injured cat? Could he live with himself if this was the reason he couldn’t save Dean?

The cat made a small questioning noise.

“It’s not your fault God’s an ass,” Castiel said with a sigh. He let a tiny bit of grace flow into the injured paw, healing up the wound and incidentally a little unrelated arthritis that had started to develop in a rear leg. “And you’re right. We are the choices we make, and I do not want to be the angel who would leave an innocent injured animal unaided.”

The cat pulled its paw back and meowed its thanks before turning and bounding off into the woods.

Castiel stood and resumed his walk. Perhaps he would find that he had too little grace at some critical point in the future. Or perhaps he would not even be present to help Dean, or Sam, or Claire. For today, he’d been present to help, and he had. It felt right. And if Claire needed someone to talk to, he would be there for her, both when she arrived at the bunker and just generally. He didn’t require grace to do that.

Dean was another story entirely. He was completely engrossed in the attempt to get Castiel out of his deal with the Empty. He was clearly furious that the deal had been made, but he was holding to his promise not to take it out on Castiel, at least. For now, that would have to be enough.


End file.
